Dating a girl with kids - what is proper when MILF dating
So I’m in falling for a girl that has kids from a previous relationship, and for the first time I find myself in a dating situation that I have no idea the proper way to handle. What is the proper etiquette for dating a girl with kids? The only thing I have to go by is a few lines in Jerry McGuire and an episode of weeds.
Anyways, the situation that threw for a loop…
So we have the first date where the kids will be joining us for dinner. I’m totally cool with this, I really like her a lot. I want to get her something, and by the time I get to find something for her, the flower shops are closed, so I stop by walgreens thinking I can get something there. Chocolate. She likes chocolate, and damn it is hard to find chocolate and coconut. Anyways, while looking through all the chocolate options I see a christmas pack with 6 pez candy dispensers and it makes me think, should I get something for the kids too?
Would that be weird? Inappropriate? Would this make it look like I am trying to buy the affection of the kids? Would it be wrong not to get something for the kids?
I was stumped. I stood there an wondered. I actually had people at the store asking me if I needed help finding anything, but I couldn’t ask them what would be right.
I decided to go with a nice box of chocolate in a pretty package, but now I wonder in the future should I consider getting something for the kids?
Dating a milf is much more complicated that I imagined. Now I am wondering about all kinds of other things that could be coming up in this relationship. Are there any experts advising on this issue?
November 14th, 2007 at 9:17 am
Found a few books that may help with your issues and concern about dating a single mom. I am glad that you have taken the time to consider these things, many men are not as sensitive to issues like these.
Books with similar subject material I found on amazon:
Mom, There’s a man in the kitchen wearing your robe - Single Mother’s Guide to Dating Well without Parenting Poorly
Sex and the Single Parent (Paperback)
and this book may be more geared toward the mom who is looking to start dating - there may be some helpful information for ya to consider within:
Sex And the Single Mom: The Essential Guide to Dating, Mating And Relating (Paperback)
December 6th, 2007 at 5:06 am
It’s only been a couple of months, and I have not had to face some of the challenges that I expect will come with dating a girl with kids from a previous relationship, but I have had a few situations to contend with that are new to me.
First off, she has to have contact with previous lovers, if nothing else to coordinate things with the kids. Sometimes she has to take one of the kids to the baby daddy for visitation, and spend time there with him. This is a strange issue for me. I am friends with many ex’s and I do not ask current lovers to disconnect completely with people from their intimate past, but there is a relationship there that makes me wonder many things. When she spends time with the ex, I wonder if the whole kid bond thing will come up and add to the magnetism of a previous lover. I also wonder if she would share thoughts about us with him, and if he will try to use timing of any weakness in our relationship to try to play some kind of let’s get back and things will be better for the kids kind of thing. I suppose this would be different if the ex was hated, or dead, so it may not be an issue that would be dealt with in all milf relationships.
Second, she has to talk to the previous guys in her life, if nothing else for the kids, but does she have to talk about them? I wonder if I do this. I guess I have, I have been called out by other lovers for talking about old flames, I just wonder if there is a different jealousy dynamic going on because she has kids with this other guy.
Third, time. There is less time for us to be together, less time to talk on the phone (a positive thing for many guys, but with this girl, I want to talk to her more). Even when we do talk on the phone, often times we can’t get through a whole paragraph without kids in the background interrupting. I am not hating on the kids thing, I actually think it’s cute hearing her kids. I like the fact that she is a mom already too, it makes me realize that if we had kids she would know what to do, but there are issues dating a girl with a kid that I have not dealt with before. These are just a few of them.
I have yet to get into a relationship with the kids, I have heard from a good friend, who dated a girl with kids before they got married, that once he was over and the kids came out from thier rooms that there was a whole introduction and new friend kind of thing. That started a whole new relationship with kids.
I imagine there are psychological issues to be considered for the children, and how one acts around the kids with their mother. I have one girl that tells me not to show physical affection to her if the kids are around. Hmmm.
Certainly there are many more issues that are unique to dating a girl with kids. More on this later. Perhaps we should write a book about this.