Adult Dating Stories, and Advice

Ladies I have got to tell you, men do not get the subtle hints you think are overly obvious. A recent dating experience left me completely bewildered, and once I spoke with some of other girlfriends, they all agreed that the situation was a great big hint to take her to the bedroom and remove the rest of her clothes, but I didn’t get it. Now I am thinking that she must of thought I rejected her, and I am sure she is thinking about a million reasons why she was rejected, it’s probably hit her self esteem, and all of this because I a was unsure if she was hinting or just flirting and teasing.

Of course I thought for a moment that she may be drunk and ready to go all the way, but I am too much of a gentlemen to take advantage of a drunk girl, even if we had been out several times, and all the indicators were that she is interested in me. Call me old fashioned, or neo-gentlemen, but I don’t want the first time to be a drunken mistake that is easily forgotten. Is it too much to want the first time to be a sober experience?

Back to the hints. Ladies if you are dropping hints left and right and the guy you are with seems completely oblivious, he is.  I have now had several talks with many different women about hints they may or may not drop on dates, and I am completely amazed. To think of all the hints I have been given and unknowingly rejected all these years. I’m sure there are many more too. Somehow we need a women’s hint book so guys can get a clue. This would be a bestseller no doubt. It’s my idea first!

Sometimes you just can’t depend on hints,many guys will be unsure will tend to lean on the side of caution and not take a hint for what it is, even if they do catch it, as many of us are so scared of rejection, that we’d rather keep waiting for a sure thing than misread an obvious hint. If you want intimacy, sometimes you are going to have to initiate it. Many of us men out here would really appreciate it.

I found an article today from yahoo that describes 10 dating mistakes that Evan Katz believes are common for women to make when dating via online dating sites. I do not agree with all his ideas here, but it makes for an interesting read. I wonder if he has considered other ways to look at some of these “mistakes”.  Right off the bat with mistake #10 - I disagree with his viewpoint. Although I do think that it is good to consider that many men out there will still be looking and keeping up with connections after a great date with a good candidate for intimacy, I do not think that every guy in the world is going to write you off after a good date just because he has other options. Perhaps the title of this dating mistake would have made me not disagree so quickly. It’s good advice to consider none the less, and I would like to have seen more detail given to the fact that just because a guy is still talking to other women, he could still be more interested in you than anyone else, so getting past the title and thinking about it more makes more sense to me.

I do agree completely with the next two suggestions. You should pay attention to your intuition and it certainly is not a mistake to write a guy first. I can tell you that it is exciting for a guy to get an email from a girl he has yet written. Heck, we may not even know that you are out here in the dating pool, and have no idea that we may things in common. A quick note in the email box is equivalent to handing a guy something to show that you have no wedding ring on your finger. I think this may be the biggest mistake women make, it’s good to write guys and get some conversation started. Certainly this may be a way to find more quality men as well. The girls who’s email boxes I have seen seem flooded with guys that are not the kind they are really looking for, and spending a lot of time sifting through or waiting for mail from the wrong guy is not a proactive approach to finding the good ones. Even if there are a lot of good fish in the sea it doesn’t mean you can just sit there on the dock and wait for the good ones to jump to you.

Mistake #7: Expecting Him to Tell the Truth in His Profile - I really want to skip over commenting on this, but I need to say that I am honest in my profiles. The stats Evan throws out in this article made me chuckle, then consider how most people really do these things, or things change and are not edited in a timely manner.

Do people really do mistake 6 in this list?

I don’t really agree with the other 5 on this completely either.. but it makes for an interesting read.

Here is another story that makes you want to remind yourself - if it’s too good to be true it probably is. I know that is a tough thing to say about love online, but when there is a $100,000 gold bar dowry at the other end of the online dating opportunity, you gotta think to yourself that there may be more to the ordeal. This guy certainly found that some online dating scams can turn to machete wielding kidnapping problems..

 Kidnapped farmer warns of dangers of online love from yahoo  / Reuters

Mon Aug 13, 1:34 AM ET

CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian farmer who was kidnapped and beaten in Mali after walking into an Internet bride scam has pleaded with people to be careful looking for online love.
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South Australian farmer Des Gregor, 56, returned to Australia on Sunday night after being held hostage by machete-armed bandits in Africa for 12 days.

“I was tied, bound by the legs, and that was only probably for a couple of days because they knew that I was going to cooperate. There was always one bloke sleeping at the door, there was no way out,” Gregor told Australian media.

Love-struck Gregor arrived in Mali last month to meet his supposed fiancee, Natacha, whom he had “met” on the Internet, and collect a dowry of gold bars worth $100,000.

Instead, the wheat and sheep farmer was picked up at the airport in a car and driven to a single bedroom apartment in the capital, Bamako, which was full of armed men.

Gregor was told his limbs would be hacked off unless his family in Australia paid a $100,000 ransom.

The scam was only stopped and Gregor freed when Australian and Mali police in turn duped the kidnappers into letting Gregor enter the Canadian embassy in Bamako to collect the ransom.

Mali is one of the world’s poorest countries, with a prolonged drought hitting the mainly farming and fishing-based economy. Most foreign tourists travel to the country to see the World Heritage-listed trading outpost of Timbuktu.

Gregor said he had no inkling before his arrival that he was a victim of a confidence trick and had now learnt his lesson.

“I reckon another couple of days and I wouldn’t have returned,” he said, recounting “a good belting” he received with a machete during his ordeal.

Gregor warned others looking for love over the Internet to be careful.

“Make sure you check everything out 100 percent,” he said.

Brother Phil said Des had been “absolutely blinded” by love and did not see the scam coming.

“You see this in a movie, you read about it in a book. It happens to someone else, not you. But it does,” he said.

“I really hope that the message gets out to people that they look after their family and if anyone talks about Internet relationships, that they can be open and share the mail with them to get an objective opinion.”

Of course online dating scams don’t have to be soo extreme, it is always in opinion a good idea to get a background check on any person you decide to meet int he real world from online situations. I also think it is important to be careful what kind of details are given online.