Archive for the ‘dating mistakes’ Category

5 breakup warning signs - signals

Friday, August 3rd, 2007

Someone messaged me about at article via yahoo personals that talks about some of the possible signals of impending relationship ending.

Here is a quick synopsis of the things that Elina Furman wrote about ( 5 breakup warning signs - How to tell when you’re about to get the boot )

  1. Picking Fights
  2. Forgetting to Call
  3. Changes in Appearance
  4. Criticizing You a lot
  5. Losing Sexual Interest

It was funny to read these five warning signs, and then think about the final 3 months of my last 3 year relationship. I was able to recall these signals, and two of them repeatably. I think the five things they have listed here are good considerations, but I think people should always be prepared to be single again, so noticing these signs is kind of like excitement for me.

I think all adults should be prepared to reenter the dating pool all the time. Not it should be a constant everyday thought, but if you are gaining 20 pounds a month, and your partner is losing 30 pounds a month, you are not going in the direction of being prepared to be re-entering the dating pool most likely. This is just one example of letting yourself go, not to say that big people are not beautiful, there are some cases where gaining weight each month is part of your plan for future dating.

It’s funny how some of the break up signs occur in ways that pull people further apart.

This is in dating mistakes because, it’s mistake to not see break up signs, and it’s a mistake not to follow the advice of communicating with your partner, and preparing your self emotionally, physically, financially, etc. Sometimes break ups happen, and that’s what it’s a good time to take some new pictures, get an online adult dating profile updated on a few web sites and find someone better.

Of course I think people should take stock of their lives and take care of their emotional health and everything before jumping right into a relationship. Getting your dating profile updated is a way to meet people for future friendships and possible relationships.

More impending break up signs to consider (5 more from recent experience):

  1. Less long term commitments - If signing up for a yearly membership to the gym or blockbuster, or an 8 week diet plan or whatever becomes an issue for no apparent reason.
  2. Unusual trips, or time away - My last love interest went on a spur of the moment week long vacation. No big deal by itself, but combined with very few phone calls or text messages made me suspicious. When she returned there were several nights where she went to hang out with friends without me. I even offered my company or assistance for some of these, but was not invited. Hmmm.
  3. Not Answering the phone or text messages while you are around - This could be a courtesy thing, especially if you in a theater or nice restaurant or on a romantic date. However if you are just lounging around the couch and your mate is not answering the phone or replying to text messages received, I would be curious.
  4. His or her friends are talking to you less - maybe you both share friends, maybe you don’t, but I have certainly seen a change in the eye contact and conversation style with lovers’ friends in the time before a break up.
  5. It’s in his / her kiss - Maybe you are a couple that doesn’t kiss much in the first place, or maybe you have a partner that doesn’t like to kiss as much as you do. I have definitely seen a difference in kisses in the time before a break up. Of course you can’t consider one half hearted kiss to mean it all over. They have be self conscience about their breath at the moment, or have something else on the mind at the time of the kiss, but if you notice a change in the kissing over a period of time, it’s time to find out what you can do to make the relationship better, or be prepared to move on.

Please note that any of these signs by themselves could just be something that gives you good information. If your partner if criticizing your new look, that doesn’t necessarily mean that a break up is coming, but perhaps you can use that to communicate and learn to compromise. If however you see several of these warning signals in combination, well it may already be over.

The first date should be cheap

Saturday, July 28th, 2007

I hoe the title doesn’t make me seem bad! This is advice that I found at the yahoo dating / relationship advice section. It does make sense. I think the title should be the first date should not cost a fortune, but then again, that wouldn’t get your attention would it?

I do agree with this article completely. It just doesn’t make sense to go all out on the first date. I have done the whole nine yards on a first date, and it’s not that that didn’t work out well, but I think it would have been better for the two of us if expectations were not made upon the amount of money being spent. A first date, and really the first several dates should be more about getting to know one another and not getting know how much someone is willing to go into debt to try and impress another.

research the movie before planning a date at the movies

Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

This bit of advice really has a lot do with which stage of the relationship you are in. I recently ended up at the movies with a girl that I had been dating for 3 years. At three years, we were in a stage of the relationship where we had to know that we were not going to be married, and we were beyond the whole lovey dovey, romantic love life.

So the movie we ended up seeing had a lot of romance and that whole Hollywood magic relationship crap. Well we didn’t know it was going to be like that, and really it made things uncomfortable for the both of us. These kinds of things are especially worse if there are other new couples in the theater and you can see them getting close to each other and crap.

The same is true for other stages of relationships, you may not want to see something that is overly sexual if you are on a first date, and you should probable get to know someone better before choosing to see movies that would be considered controversial.

With a ton of information available today about all the movies out there, and most of the info also available on a cell phone, there should be no excuse for putting you and your date into an uncomfortable movie situation - research the flick before you buy the tickets.