Adult Dating Stories, and Advice

Lovers turn to text message to say it’s over

From Reuters

LONDON (Reuters) - U R dumped — one in seven say they have suffered the same fate as Britney Spears’ ex-husband and been told it’s all over via text message or email, a survey said Friday.

While hiding behind technology might appear a cowardly way of splitting up, it contrasts with the four percent who simply drop all communication with their lovers without notice.

“Most of us send emails and texts everyday, so it comes as no surprise they are now being used to ditch someone — however distasteful this is,” said Rob Barnes from moneysupermarket.com, which carried out the survey.

“The results show one per cent of the population would use a social networking site to dump a partner. It would be interesting to see how this changes as sites such as Facebook and MySpace become more apparent in our everyday lives.”

One of the most high-profile victims of dumping by text was Kevin Federline, who reportedly received news that pop singer Spears was filing for divorce while being filmed for a television show.

The survey said 15 percent of the 2,194 people questioned had been dumped by text or email, although a quarter of those in the most tech-savvy 18 to 24-year-old age group would choose the traditional method — a letter.

(Reporting by Michael Holden)

I’ve read many articles about breaking up, suggestions for doing it “right”, suggestions for healing your broken heart, and suggesting for letting someone go the best way. Most of these articles suggest doing it person, and not breaking up with someone through email, text, or on the phone. The reality of today’s busy lifestyle is that we may not have the time to meet up in person to break up. My recent break up occurred with her being an hour and a half away, and the conversation just led to us breaking up. So it was done on the phone. Not in person.

Sure I would of liked to do it in person, I would liked to have seen some emotion in her eyes, perhaps that would of made me feel better on some level. However I can totally see doing the break up through email or text, depending on the situation of the people involved. I’ve been in relationships where we texted more than talked the whole time, given that we are both super busy and often in locations that do not allow for easy talking on the phone, a break up text today with some dating scenarios would not be unusual. Heck, if you can fight and ague through text messages, why not end it that way?

Of course texts can be saved and shown to friends, and with part of the text conversation deleted, easily taken out of context, so I am careful what I text. There is unfortunately no way to unsend a text, and the delivery is quite fast these days. Just make sure you send it to the right person, and not your entire contact list. Also be prepared for your texts to be forwarded to your partners friends, if it gets around to the entire dating circle that you ended things with a text, it could make it more difficult to find a new lover and start dating again with the reputation of being a cold insensitive texter.

Another issue with text and email messages that drives me crazy is how they can be read in different ways by differnt people, certainly by now you have had some kind of misunderstanding through a written message, I know I have gotten a few confused phone calls where people read something I sent as a joke, seriously, and it could be the other way. Without facial expressions and inflection of voice, it is easy for people to misread texts and emails.

This news story surprised me.. This is VERY similar to an idea I had some years ago..

 New way for singles to meet — the digital zap from yahoo news

By Dana Ford Fri Aug 3, 3:43 PM ET

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - For people who think they’ve heard every pick-up line in the book, here’s a new one — let’s zap each other.
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The line is not likely to work everywhere but at parties hosted by OneKeyAway, it might, with the Los Angeles-based company hosting singles’ mixers with a technological twist.

Before parties, guests register online and complete questionnaires. The answers are then transferred to digital memory devices — red, plastic squares slightly larger than a matchbox — that the guests wear like necklaces.

During a party, people point their devices at one another to check how compatible they are. The devices flash red, yellow or green, depending on their level of compatibility.

Green means go, and red? Stop.

Edwin Duterte, a banker and founder of OneKeyAway, said he hopes the devices put personality on par with physical attraction.

Duterte said he started OneKeyAway in 2004 because he had trouble meeting women, with his height of 5 feet always proving to be a drawback for him.

“I didn’t have a clue how to meet people,” said Duterte, 37, who moved to Los Angeles 10 years ago. “All the relationships I had took a back seat. When you’re so into work, you lose your skills.”

Aida Diallo, an outgoing 33-year-old from Los Angeles, wouldn’t say she’s lost her people skills — just her time.

“Here’s the thing,” said Diallo, sipping a cocktail and scouting the crowd at an upscale bar in downtown Los Angeles. “I have zero time to meet people but I want to be married at some point. I’m trying to meet someone interesting.”

While online dating seems to have become a preferred method for meeting people in a fast-paced society, Duterte said Web matchmaking has one main drawback — lack of personal contact.

“There’s no interaction anymore,” said Duterte. “We’re adding the human touch to a high-tech industry.”

The parties, usually held once a week, force people into a social situation and the compatibility keys give people a clue as to whether they want to talk to someone or not.

But the compatibility keys are not always the only element that draws people together. Ask party-goer Bernie Rodriguez.

Rodriguez, an ex-military man, arrived early to a OneKeyAway event and sat at the bar and waited. Soon, the automotive instructor was talking with a woman — despite the fact they were not compatible, based on their keys.

“All this is is an icebreaker,” said Rodriguez, looking at the device around his neck. “We were red, but we’re taking a chance on each other.”

I would like to see the variations I had been thinking about combined into this kind of product, I think it would make dating more fun in many ways. Using technology to get more human time is certainly a  profound and needed  thing right now. So much technology is making adult dating easier and faster, but it mostly takes out much of the human element, combining things like this should make for some cool dating parties in the future!